Topic #8 July 29-Aug 5, 2012
Facilitator: Shem Berman
There are some of us who have always known what they would end up doing even when still young. Some were aided by their parents or their mentors. Some just had that vision of who or what they wanted to become. The choices they made in life, the activities they've done, the circle of friends or acquaintances they had, the organizations they've joined were all made to reach that particular goal. For others, the goal wasn't clear cut. They took detours and took awhile before finally deciding on what they wanted to do.
What would be interesting to know would be, how close we came to be or conversely, how far have are we from what we've thought we would be?
In my case, I come from a family of lawyers. Since grade school, I was already expected to follow into my father's footsteps. I already started helping out in a law firm in high school and, in college, I took up a course which would prepare me for law school. But after college, I changed course. I did go to law school for one sem but that was only to prove that I could do it then I completed my masters and never returned to law school. For sometime, I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. I had jobs but I wasn't satisfied.
Now, I deal with numbers, forecasting and logic when I used to hate them (frustrated from lack of understanding would be the better term). Was this what I envisioned for myself? Yes and no. Did I ever imagine myself working in a multicultural company? Yes. Outside of the Philippines? Vaguely. Working with numbers? No. But is this where I want to be? At this point in my life, yes. Everything seemed to have clicked into place.
The topic discussion for this week: Looking at who you are now and what you individually accomplished in your lives, are you where you thought you would be when you started charting your path in life?
- Sonja Chan For my part, I came from a family of educators and for this very reason, I didn't want to become one more of them. So I thought I wanted to become a lawyer. That was the first career that came to my mind. I had always been on the defensive as far as my family was concerned. I always had a point not all would agree with and I also made it a point to stand by it. Of course, noble notions of defending the helpless, of fighting for justice and the rest of those profound thoughts that went along with the world of lawyering played in my mind. Later though, my wants just jumped into another world and I wanted to travel to other countries, to learn other languages and about other cultures so I thought Foreign Service was for me. Again, this just didn't materialize. And suddenly, things just happened and time just went by and without fanfare, I found myself a teacher. I skipped a lot of detail, of course, but the point is I am exactly where I didn't want to be. Funny how it happens that you end up liking what at first you decide not to like. I'll tell you a secret. This was also the case with the man I got married to. I said I wouldn't marry him if he was the last man on earth and I just ate my words. So I got myself into the academe... discovered and resolved that being an educator was just about the most sublime of careers for me... and from then on till now - as you can see - is still the life I cherish!
- Albertina Lopes Ah, does anyone's life ever turned out as planned? :) Mine definitely did not! Disclaimer: my life was planned for me. I was so programmed to follow a certain path that I never really knew what I wanted. It's not my intention to whine. I am incredibly fortunate to have parents who prioritized my education above all else, and at great sacrifice to themselves. The decisions that they made for me put me in a position where at the end of the day, I was able to make the final decision about my path. Having thrown that disclaimer out there, here goes: I was doomed to follow a fast track to med school the day I asked my mother about the conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians (although not in those exact terms). I was about four years old. Back then, my mother stored her copies of Time magazine behind the couch in the family room. When she caught me back there surreptitiously flipping through an edition featuring children of war, she was worried about my having seen the gruesome images. I was particularly curious about a little girl leading her parents' funeral procession after they had been assassinated, her eyes impossibly puffy in her pale little face. And when my questions came and my mother realized that I had been reading parts of the article and filling in what I couldn't understand with the photos, my fate was sealed. Another disclaimer: that story makes me sound way smarter than I actually am. I'm not that smart. I just peaked really early. Anyway, I followed the path that had been set out for me, but on my first day of medical school, I knew that it wasn't for me. Being an obedient daughter, I graduated, even took my boards. But through a series of decisions made through the years, I find myself managing the health services program of a non-profit that provides human services to 35,000 children and adults over 14 states. Nope -not exactly what I imagined I'd be doing. But am I happy? You bet! And along the lines of Dr Chan's revelation up there (although hers had a wonderful ending! :), as far as relationships go, when I was young, I thought that I would be married with kids at this point in my life, but I'm not. And I'm happy with that, even though it wasn't in The Plan. Breaking off my engagement was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, but it was also one of the best things I've ever done. My point? Given the circumstances in our lives, many of which are beyond our control, we do the best that we can, and discover things about ourselves in the process. Yes? :)
- Yvonne Pe Del Rosario Am i where i thought i would be when i charted out my path in life? Definitely not! I grew up in Baguio, and had to leave Baguio because earthquake left us with nothing much except education - and lots of friends. Who would have thought we'd all end up coming back to Manila? But then, i would say, i am way beyond what i thought i could have achieved. In career, I dreamed of being a manager in some company. when i started out, i didn't really think i'd become an officer after so many "sermons" from my superiors. I jumped from one job to another, still searching. I still get those "sermons", but I appreciate them more now. I still make a lot of mistakes, but I am now an officer in my career. In family, we had very supportive parents. I didnt really foresee what family life i would have had, but now I am a mom myself. In Chinese culture, it's usually the boys taking care of the parents. I have never thought that day (or those days) would come that I could pay back to my parents. My parents didn't require us to do anything for them. But I'm happy to have gone with mom to a trip abroad (it's not 100% on me, but sure was able to treat her then), happy to have treated my parents on some occasions, and happy to have helped out with some expenses.. and definitely happier to have a husband who understands and supports me here. In my social life, one teacher mentioned before that if you have a friend for more than 10 years, that's very very special. And if you have friends for years more than 10, that's for a lifetime probably. And I am so happy to have been very rich in that field. I have friends (they may be miles away) but am very proud to say that we've been bugging each others' pigtails for 29 years now. Albertina Lopes for one, has always been there for how many years now? nearly 20? I'm not saying my life's been perfect, there were too many obstacles along the way. But yes, i've definitely gone further from where i thought i could have been.
- Marl Rosal I believe, God has a plan for each and everyone of us.. No matter how we make way for our dreams, there is always a detour along the way.. :) Each of us, we dream.. we make out of it, sometimes at a very young age... i remember being fascinated with women wearing white (in short, the habit, most nuns before wear white) I used to admire them from afar and i like it very much seeing them especially when I go to church. I grew up dreaming that one day, i will be one of them and proudly wearing my very own. Growing up, I joined several organizations to work with them. I really go out of my way to be with them. While others my age are enjoying the carefree and wonderful life of teenagers, during my spare moments away from the market I am with the nuns, talking to them, teaching me how to crochet (most old nuns do during their spare time).. I can't remember exactly now how many convents i have been to just to take a peek of their life. I have seen, how Benedictine Sisters live, the Franciscans and even some Priest friends and a Bishop whom I dearly love but passed away due to illness. During college days I joined the Assumption Sisters, I taught deaf and mute kids until the earthquake took the Amapola building? In short, I really wanted that kind of life and chose the Pink Sisters Convent. I made all the necessary preparations and arrangements on my own cause my father was against it. He doesn't want to support me, I needed money to get in and i don't have so i have to go down to Manila to get my last salary from the company I last worked. That's when God decided to make a little twist, I met my husband 2 years hence without any spark and He made our paths crossed again. He just passed the board as a Civil Engineer. He learned later the reason of my stay in Manila. As days go by, we clicked and he proposed that we try and if in the end I am still decided to go in he will let me. He tried to help me find a job, but really Manila is not for me. I went back to Baguio and my job was waiting for me, with Pocketbell! With a dream job and a partner, I got confused and he never gave me the chance to back out anymore. :) 20 years ago, i walked down the aisle and said I do. Which i never regretted, maybe God said, this is a suitable life for you. Who am I to argue? God is good!
- Maria Cristina Bejar Gallardo I was reading all the responses you had posted on this topic and I would also like to share mine. I never knew what i really wanted to be while I was growing up. I felt like i was drifting through college, trudging through engineering--but i think i remember some special moments in my life that left such a deep impact on me. When I was 15 years old, I attended a workshop that was conducted by Ambassador Conchitina Sevilla Bernardo. She was talking about social graces. I remember very distinctly how awkward i felt at that time, being one of 3 girls attending with the graduating cadets of PMA in 1984. I was fascinated and enthralled with the speaker! She was so beautiful and confident and she gave the workshop as though she had lived everything she was teaching. I thought that I wanted to have her poise and confidence--(and her beauty, too!)-- when i got older. When i took up engineering, i was lost. The only classes i truly enjoyed were Ma'am Sonja's classes and Engineer dela Pena's. I always thought that someday, i would like to be able to teach like they did (and not become an engineer at all-hehehe). Little did I know that I would end up becoming a teacher-- at first a teacher of religion, then a teacher of English, then i somehow found myself thrown into the thick of the corporate world as a training consultant... Performance Management, Change Management, Leadership, Customer Service, Creative Problem Solving, Presentation Skills, Train the Trainer... the years had been kind and generous. I have learned so much from the people I had met along the way, and I have acquired skills that i never learned in school. I feel like I have lived a full, rich life, and my prayer every night now is, "Lord, please bring me where I could do the greatest good." And it doesn't matter what it is the He requires me to do. I have found that where He wants me to go, the doors would open, and the path would be laid out, lit up, and the people waiting. For a long time, i thought I just wanted to be a hermit-- to teach those who wanted to be taught, to answer only the questions that were being asked, and to live a quiet life in some cave. When he brought me to Indonesia, He gave me a cave in Bellagio Mansion, and I did teach only those that wanted to be taught. Then, on a whim, I prayed, "Dear God, I want to travel the world for free and do what i love the most-- teach. Can you do this for me?" Now, i have a new task laid out for me... He is clearly leading me to a new adventure-- and i shall be sailing the high seas on Celebrity Cruises-- as a Training and Development Manager for 1300 crew members.... God listens and He answers fast. Hehehe. ♥ So, did i end up doing what I wanted? I'd like to think that I am aligning myself with what He wants--and it is never an ending, but always a new beginning. ♥August 27 at 7:15 am
