Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Seven Point Seven Baguio

(Thought-Random)




        It was mid-afternoon, one of the most perfect times of the day to read a good book, so I found myself a comfortable part of the couch beside Erin, the two-year elder of my two granddaughters, who was taking a nap.  They were with my husband and me for the care taking as my daughter and her husband, who both worked at the Philippine Military Academy, were out - that left just the four of us then in the house. So while the other one, Elise, my four-month old younger granddaughter, was also sleeping in her crib, my husband was at the dining table cleaning his 45 pistol, to be ready for military duty the next morning. Nice, quiet family moment, I thought.

        In a bit of a while from that idyllic instance, it arrested my attention – that  slight sway from an earthquake.  To me, this wasn’t really out of the ordinary at all.  We’ve had earthquakes now and then but just the way it was at that point in time – gentle, soothing, momentary and then gone.  But then, as if awkwardly and contrariwise, the swaying went on. It went on.  It went on.  And then, instead of slowly leaving, it suddenly became violently jarring that it simply  shattered one of the window panes nearby. That alone sent a big piece of glass flying to me and the moment stood still -  but God-guided, it thankfully landed on the floor instead.  I instinctively stood up to go for our little one in the crib while my husband, too, literally flew to the other one at the couch. I must have made a superwoman-dash because I barely escaped a whole, big, china cabinet crash me to the floor, followed by another one each sending books, together with wooden, ceramic and  broken glass pieces flying left and right.  Picture frames swung from side to side and furniture slid back and forth in dance – the house was now in crazy pandemonium.

        Well, the violence kept on. My God, it just kept on and on and on and on. The neighborhood was now in hysterics as with a child each tight in our arms, my husband and I joined them outside. Most of them were prostrate on the ground screaming and scared dead.  Not only were they down there in prayer, but also, most of them were practically  flung down by the now gigantic shakes and with nowhere to cling to. I was heavenly fortunate, however, that I had my husband.  Like the military man that he was, he stood his upright stance right there in the middle of the chaotic environment with a child in his right arm and his left gathering me with my share of the children firmly close to him.  At that very moment, I never felt so safe and secure and so loved and cared for as I gratefully  leaned towards the strength-sharing beating of his heart. 
 
        Yes, we stood there counterbalancing each other, my husband and I, as simultaneously and together, we tried to counter the continuing magnitude of the earth’s vicious  attempt to shake us down.  And as I watched the raging swing of the trees, of the electric lines and of the water-spilling tanks in the military home compound we were in, my thoughts now roamed to my family.  Oh merciful God, where were my children? I had my husband with me, thank heaven. I had my grandchildren with me, thank you, Lord. And I wondered, will we survive? But where were my children, my frantic thoughts now crushed my heart into bleeding. 

        My daughter and her husband were out there at work within the city; are they safe? This time I was distraught for them as I went on non-stop, dear God, please spare them, please spare them, I whispered.  And my son! My son was out of country! He was out there in Japan, which was another earthquake country! My frightened thoughts doubled! No, they multiplied! They multiplied fantastically fast! But somehow, I calmed a teeny-weeny bit at the fact that the earthquake was at my end, not his.  Still, my heart ached at the thought of the distance that came in between us those unsettling moments; and my mind numbed at the realization that with communications held at abeyance, he would be as keyed-up as I was and I wished he was spared that. All in that one moment, I was out of myself,  out into some space where never ever was my heart and my mind – and in a mix of fear, uncertainty and bewilderment!  So went on the seven-point-seven shake in Baguio’s part of the earth, shaking our lands, our homes, our bodies and spirits into kingdom come through out the whole duration it lasted.  
 
        History accounts for the deaths and the destruction it left us but also of the resiliency of our people and the return of Baguio to its former glory.  I had my share of the total earthquake experience but happily, mine was also encapsulated in that particular love and strength that sustained me – nothing in this world like family warmth that transcended difficulty in time and space, even if it settled, then, only in the mind.
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Monday, May 11, 2015

SAPSAPULENKA - by Peter Julian (Ghost Version)

(Thought-Random)

1.

Rinibun dagiti immay a sumipnget
Iti daytoy nailet a lubong ti sennaay.
Dimmagan bulbulong iti salogan
A nakaibatian sanaang kari a natallikudan.

Lipatem, lipatem, inyik-ikkis ti panawen.
Apay a pabaludka't saem ti nanglipaten?
Ngem bugbugtong ti saning-i 'toy barukong:
Ay-ayatenka, ay-ayatenka.
Bay-an a ti rikna ti mangituray iti pannusa.

Sapsapulenka iti ginget dagiti rupsa ni ayat.
Sarsarakenka iti anasaas dagiti baresbes,
Kadagiti atap a sabsabong iti turod ni lagip.

Kumarkaranyo pay laeng ti timekmo, ay,
Ti naumbi a timekmo kadagiti ubbing a rabii.

Ap-appopuek ti nabalitokan a nginabras
Ti talukatik ti kanta a saanto nga agkupas.

Naikeddengen: sika ti kalbaryok.
     Sika ti luak.
     Sika ti saibbekko.
Naikeddeng metten: sika ti aminko.
     O sika ti isemko.
     O sika ti initko.

Ket no mangngegmonto ti aweng ti kutibeng
Iti labes ti panawen, siakto pay laeng daydiay,
Agun-unnoy, agpakpakaasi, siakto pay laeng
A mangisarsarang kenka iti nalabaga a rosa,
     Ti pusok a nadigos iti dara.

2.

Saanmo koma a liplipatan nga immayka,
Ditoy lubongko nagpaingka, maysa a daniw
     Iti saan nga agpatingga nga iliw.

Kankanayon idi nga adda awanan dara
A panagpitik ti puso nga agpuspussuak
Iti rugso nga agpaay laeng kenka.
Kankanayonak idi iti kasipngetan
Saan a gapu ta kaamakko ti raniag
Dagiti agsalsaludsod a matam. Kinabutengko
Ti ladawan ti dayyeng, ti rikna a di agparbeng.

Malaglagipko dagiti simmangbay a kali
Iti baybay ti Jale, dagiti agpaigid a dalluyon.
Malaglagpko daydi nalipatam a kuentasmo
Iti naipusing a rabii,

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Saturday, May 9, 2015

Part of the poem included in the anthology of Ilokano and English poems, "Come Again, Stranger/Umayka Manen, Ganggannaet" with critical introduction by Dr. Aurelio Solver Agcaoili of the University of Hawaii at Manoa. An allegory.

PANAAS -by Peter Julian (Ghost Version)

Enter that dream world and the mystery of the little girl with sad eyes, a jug of water on her dainty head. Earlier, she, on her knees, had dug the river sands with her little fingers and watched as the water rose, took the cup and bailed out the water. She threw the water on her side, repeating the act until the liquid was clear, sparkling and she could see the bottom of the pit. She scooped the water with a cup made of coconut shell and put it in the clay jar; she did this a number of times until the container was full.
****
              PANAAS                                                     
                           Umarubayan ti lagip
             iti kasaor ti malem-sardam
             idiay Laoag, ditoy Menifee
             iti batog ti kidem a langit:
             karkarsanna idi ti pagsakduanna
             iti kadaratan, ket iti di mabayag
             ballasiwenna manen ti karayan,
             ti imnas a nagsusuon iti malabi
             ti nasam-it a danum
             ni ayat--daytoy ti kaudian
             nga am-amangaw, alimbasag
             ken tarimbangon dagiti palimed
             ken naliday a dandaniw a mariing  
            iti ulila a parbangon

The Morning Side of the Mountain


(A Short Story)

        I used to watch you walk your certain way  toward school, intently observing  how apparently careful you were not to step on any of the stones - these stones that were wantonly scattered  along that dirt road we had back then . I don't know why but I just loved to watch you and every move you made whenever I could - from a distance.

        You see, I was one of the boys in the neighborhood, remember? Well, I was just one of them but it was I who seriously wondered what it was in you that definitely magnetized the soul out of me. You went to this all girls high school; I went to the counterpart  all boys school. You lived on the northern side of our street, I was on the southern part across. And while this same street led both of us to each our schools, this same pathway also led the whole neighborhood the opposite direction to this one creation God made for us - the river.

        Ah yes, the river.  The river  was the one other place that held secrets, maybe;  but for me, it spelled some kind of a wonderland that time put you synonymous with. You would enter that dream world of a river that welcomed the mystery of a soulful-eyed  girl that was you. On your knees, you would dig the river sands with your little fingers and watched as the water rose; then you would take this coconut shell of a cup and bail out the water, throw this  water to your side, repeating the act until the liquid was clear, sparkling that you could see the bottom of the pit. You would scoop the water with the cup and pour it into the clay jar; this, you'd do a number of times until the container was full.This done, you would then be ready to carry this jug of water on your head, your face showing a radiance of sheer accomplishment and anticipation of bringing it home as you start to walk away.

        Maybe you didn't know then that from my vantage point,  I would watch you, with that clay jug on your head, walk from the river toward home.  You didn't know then how much I'd have wanted to cart away that heavy thing from your head, do it for you instead, and save you the task I thought it was. Seeing you spritely taking the steps, however, with the air of a dance, it would shoot me a feeling of embarrassment to realize this was actually  fun to you - a love you nurtured which I had no right to take away from you. But then, also, from out of this realization stemmed the other realization that I was falling for you with a love that grew intensely by the moment. But it was just that.

        Well, in those times and circumstances of our adolescence, the closest I could come to you was through the touch of your Math test papers. You didn't know that your Math teacher then was my Mom? She would ask me to help record the scores of  her class test papers and more than often, it was your paper I would find on top of the bunch - the paper with the highest score, and  really very much more than often.

       . Perhaps, this was one of the reasons you were endeared to me.  I didn't only love  pretty girls;  I also liked them intelligent.. But certainly, this was a reason, too, that I  couldn't come close to you. Particularly in social gatherings, my Mom would always remind me with a stern "Now Fred, stop looking at Linda. You can't go near her, okay?"  So I would violently rebel against this traditional but inconsiderate conservatism of my mother but I was also brought up to negatively react just quietly, privately. I questioned our societal conventions and unwritten laws about this professor's family not allowed to get into intimate relationships with her students especially when they were good in class.... not even to just try... but I wasn't allowed to - notwithstanding!

        I wasn't going to give in to this demonic treatment of my heart any longer because I then decided to come to you, anyway, come hell or high water; but then it turned out that that was the very day your family also moved out of town. Just like that. And no one could say where you had gone as if on purpose they stole you away from me. And my world stood still for almost half a century.

        Well, it was really my heart that  went into limbo while my world went on spinning as surely yours went on too. But guess what, Linda, heaven came down to me today. As if by magic, this ice stored part of my heart melted to the discovery that somewhere along the internet highways is that morning side of life that has kept you from my twilight part of it but safe for me.  You had been there all the time and at last, I have found you.

        Time and space have moved in, my love, and if it matters at all,  to me, it's all that matters. Somehow, novelty can now happily outweigh certain so-called conventions. Vicariously, love can't violate anything, can it? There still can be a world of joy without having had met, right? And if I can start all over again with you from the river with that clay jug on your head, treading on all those moments up to this fascinating virtual moment, there can be no reason why finally, there can be a dream come true. So now as I half-whisper to you, "Hi Linda, I'm Fred.. you still remember me?", you might just say, "Fred, who?"  Then will I bring you back with me to the memory of the river where even in the distance, you did exchange glances with me. A love story can then revitalize as I take your hand, - and we move on blissfully to that morning side of the mountain.
        
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Thanks to Peter Julian